Must be All that Sexual Repression
Nov 22nd, 2009 by pedestrian

… it is with a lot of politicians at large, and IRI officials specifically.
You do remember Ali Motahari? He’s come out in support of teenage temporary marriage in an interview with Kalemeh.
Now before I go any further in discussing what I believe to be very questionable comments, I will give him (and many like him) this: they are acknowledging teen sex, and are trying to find a way around it. He’s coming out AGAINST forcing students out of school because of this – unfortunately, this is the only way they know how. He doesn’t really answer any of the interviewer’s comments and does not pose solutions for any of the dilemmas that the interviewer puts forth. His only argument is: “let’s give this an Islamic shape” – and the rest will take care of itself.
At the same time, I wouldn’t call this a “sexual revolution” as some people do. At least not all of it and we must be careful when making these sorts of distinctions. I am from a very traditional little town in the south of Iran where teenage pregnancy has been a reality ever since my grandmother went to the first girls’ public school and even when her mother went to a private tutoring class (because there were no schools during her age). We Iranians discovered sex long before Madonna and so I would appreciate scholars who don’t insist that a “sexual revolution” has taken place in Iran because Iranians are so “modern” and so “Westernized” as if every 16 year old boy in Iran only discovers his unmentionables after reading playboy.
Another factor which I think may influence people like Motahari: “children of the revolution” like him, many of the passionate, pro-Khomeini youth of that age got married and started their families at a very young age – 17, 18, 19. Things were different then, and maybe they are still in that old mentality. He doesn’t address the lack of sexual education, the rise of teen pregnancy if such plans were to take hold, the particular quandaries it will serve females, etc.
Back to Ali however …
Kalemeh: the head of Tehran’s education office has come out and said that teen girls are allowed to get married, but they will have to leave school and attend adult classes. We ask Ali Motahari a few questions about this.
Kalemeh: Mr. Motahari, you made an appearance on IRIB and spoke about your disagreement with forcing girls to leave school after marriage. Why do you take this position?
A.M.: I’m against this for a number of reason. First of all, do we not know that many students these days know about the intricacies of marriage [= sex] even in junior high school? So let’s allow marriage to solve their natural problems [sexual] and let them get on with their lives. I am against forcing students out of school for wanting to start a life together.
Kalemeh: Is this a reasonable argument though? To let teenagers marry? Kids who have no income or no real experience with life?
A.M.: I spoke about this on TV as well. In that program, the topic of discussion was young boys and girls and the relationships they current have in our society. We all know that girls and boys these days befriend one another and have relationships that we know are illegitimate and in some cases, even the family knows about it. We are saying o.k., let them have these relationships but in a legitimate matter. Let them in a temporary marriage.
Kalemeh: Let’s assume that they come and temporarily marry. Do you know that you are only looking at this from the boys’ side? In our society, a girl can’t temporarily marry and expect to marry again later permanently. Families don’t accept this.
A.M.: But you see that in many families now, unfortunately, it’s o.k. for girls and boys to date. Even if it’s only going out and talking to one another. I’m just saying, let’s try to give order to this relationship. You know that today in our society there are many ways which young kids are sexually provoked. It is more appropriate to give this an Islamic order and to stop the incorrect traditions which we are creating. In general, Islam recommends that sexual desires not be provoked. We have to create conditions for our young boys and girls so they do not commit sin – that has to be the goal. For instance, for them to exercise and to attend to social matters and to be able to temporarily marry one another.
[Sounds funny, but this is a really important point which he fails to stress: young people in Iran have nothing to do. Absolutely NOTHING. I don't care less about sexual "sin" but the fact that there are millions of youth without a responsibility or a pass-time or motivation is not a good thing. Mousavi's campaign was actually so positive in that it gave so many of them a motivation to organize, ... go out and do things. Ali Motahari forgets that each time they try and go out to attend to "social matters" they are terrorized. ]
Kalemeh: Do you know that there is no opportunity or platform to do social work?
A.M.: It is obvious that there is no opportunity. That’s why we do not encourage permanent marriage and are trying to advocate temporary marriage. I’m saying this so they do not take the Westerners’ path in dating one another.
Kalemeh: It seems that this itself is more “Western”. To have a fling with someone and then let them go for someone else …
A.M.: Currently, there are relationships between girls and boys. Why don’t we want to accept reality? Girls and boys are dating and establishing relationships and then separating. Well, why don’t they get into a temporary marriage and the families can accept this too? Let’s think about the religious conscience of the young and let’s not let sin become ordinary for them. Of course, in this regard, some marjas [authority of religious scholars] require the permission of the girls’ father so we must make sure that the family does not prohibit the union.
Kalemeh: How much do you think this will help the well-being of society?
A.M.: First and foremost, this development will help the health of individuals. The personal obsessions of individuals will subside and sexual matters will become ordinary for them. And Islam has left this space for them. We see that these matters are also ordinary in the West, but Islam has a different route for them.
Kalemeh: So you are saying we should promote temporary marriage?
A.M.: I’m not saying we should promote temporary marriage. I’m saying that in Islam, there are no limitations in this regard [sexual relations between teens] and it is our traditions and customs which are creating the barriers.
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Somayeh Tohidlou, the journalist who was just released also has a very interesting take on teen marriage which I’ll bring you tomorrow.
“At the same time, I wouldn’t call this a “sexual revolution” as some people do. At least not all of it and we must be careful when making these sorts of distinctions. I am from a very traditional little town in the south of Iran where teenage pregnancy has been a reality ever since my grandmother went to the first girls’ public school and even when her mother went to a private tutoring class (because there were no schools during her age). We Iranians discovered sex long before Madonna and so I would appreciate scholars who don’t insist that a “sexual revolution” has taken place in Iran because Iranians are so “modern” and so “Westernized” as if every 16 year old boy in Iran only discovers his unmentionables after reading playboy.”
Good for you. People also often forget that it’s sexual repression that’s modern. I’ve read Mahdavi’s book and written about it elsewhere. I have similar problems with Varzi’s book too (and virtually any book on post-revolutionary youth and youth culture). Sometimes you get the impression that these folks are completing ignoring history. They want to instead reject one kind of essentialization (backward, decadent Orientals) by taking up another in response (of a universal human nature informing our actions but with a decidedly Western tilt).
Soo . . . tell me if I’m wrong – if one (female) enters a temporary marriage, she is always eligible only for subsequent temporary marriage? But a man can enter a temporary marriage, and afterwards enter a permanent marriage?
Lola, man or woman, they are eligible to enter a subsequent temporary or permanent marriage. The problem is that traditional families want “virgins” – so if a woman has had a temporary marriage, she’ll most likely have a very hard time “finding a good husband”!