The Cleric
Jul 4th, 2011 by pedestrian
In a taxi, in the southern Iranian province of Khuzestan:
It was a hot, humid day. A typical summer day in Khuzestan, where it gets so hot that you can barely muster enough energy to breathe. When the streets are practically empty, lest for those unfortunate creatures whose errands or jobs or curiosity gets the better of them. The gods had blessed us with no sandstorm that day, and for that, I was grateful. Humidity, heat and sandstorms are never, ever fun.
I was in the taxi with two other passengers. A man in the front, and a man in the back. I was hoping, hoping that no one else would get inside, as three people in the back of a taxi, their arms touching in this heat, would make me sweat a waterfall.
In the distance, we could make out an old, bent man signalling for a cab. As we got nearer we could make out the black turban on his head. It was an old clergyman waving his hand for a taxi, we could make out his silhouette from the distance. His back was crooked, almost bent at 90 degrees. The driver grumbled, as they always do before taking on a clergyman, an akhond, and then stopped.
Rats.
The guy in the front got out, sat in the back and offered his seat to the cleric. The man looked ancient, as if from another time & century. When he got in, probably sensing the animosity through the stench of sweat and humidity, he said: “don’t worry folks, only here for a short ride, these legs won’t do anymore”.
No one replied.
A few minutes later, he asked the driver: “would you mind pulling into that alley? I really can’t walk anymore.” The driver said quickly: “only if you do me a favor too.” And made a right turn to stop in the alleyway where the cleric had pointed to.
The cleric walked out, paid his fare and said: “so, what can I do for you?”
The driver responded: “Mr, when you folks are finally kicked out of this country for good, will you let me be the one to have your head?”
With a straight face the cleric responded: “would love to, but I’ve already promised my head to about a dozen other people. They’re all anxiously waiting for it.”
And with that he closed the door and walked away. And we sat there, watching the horizon across his crooked back.
LOL
Awesome.
It’s funny, Ped, many of my fellow San Franciscans hurl similar insults toward our elected municipal officials, wherever possible.
I especially found it embarrassing when at the grand parade of our winning baseball team last year, our mayor (being driven in the back eat of a classic open-topped convertible) was “hailed” by a chorus of boos, invectives and hisses.
Go figure.
Salaam Pirouz. I know you’re in the business of comparing the US and Iran all the time
, but I didn’t think too much about writing this … I just thought this cleric kicks a**!
I feel bad for the people who became clerics for spiritual and personal reasons rather than greed and the desire to dominate and subjugate others. It must be hard to suffer the same government as the rest of society and be blamed for it at the same time. Not that they suffer from the gov’t any worse than, say women (that goes without saying!) or Sunnis or whoever, just that they aren’t the bad guys and they still have to pay for it.
Funny story though!
I completely agree. During the times this man grew up in Khuzestan, going to clerical schools was probably the only thing a man could do if he wanted an education. I bet he (or the likes of him) feels as bad as we do about this mess.
Great story Ped!
Thanks again for the updates.
I have a little story too, although not as funny as yours, I would say it’s rather sad.
During (or right after) the 79 revolution one (of many) of my dad’s friends got arrested, she was a communist. After some time in prison she was finally released. The akhoond who was her judge said to her upon her release: “I suggest you put your ideals, high hopes and loyalty aside khahar, because we are here to stay. And if we are ever forced to leave, I swear to God we will kill at least half this population before handing your beloved country back to you”.
Of course my dad tells is better.
I really have a hard time believing this story is true.
shaghayegh, sadly true
I really have a hard time believing you were there. But you can think either way, I still think that cleric kicked a**.
Heh. It’s sad, really. Checking in after a long absence . . .